My first toilet near miss

I am writing this in September, a few months after the date, I will try to write the best recollection of what happened:

I have been very on off with Tinder. I can’t stand to sit at home chatting to birds, who when you get out on a date is like opening a Jack in the box to find a fat chick with excellent photography skills or a cute yet average girl.

Anyway I matched a cute 19 year old Indian girl, she looked fresh, but still quite cute. Ran the usual spiel, but she started to whip out responses which were quite funny. I might actually have alot of fun with this girl I thought. I got her number and a few days later I asked her out for the weekend. The weekend came, but I had some terrible problems at home. I told her what was up and said we’ll reschedule later. She sympathised and agreed.

I finally got her out after two weeks of pinging, delaying until around the time I was free. We walked into O’Neills, I asked her what she wanted and told her to find a decent spot. It was very strange, this whole venue, I couldn’t stop asking her questions, obviously throwing bits of banter in and having a laugh. But it was all rapport building.

I took her off to the second venue, it was all heating up we had a little booth and I was chatting random shite. I touched her hair, legs, the lot. At some point I enquired about her necklace. I held it in my hands, looked up, inches from her face and we both gave each other a look, me a cheeky smile her the same. Made out. We finished and she said “That was suave”. I was chuffed.

This continued a bit more and I took her to the next venue. A Central London hotel with a famous disabled toilet. We grabbed a couple glasses of wine and had a bit of patter. Halfway through she said “I have to leave soon for the train”. All I could think of was “for fuck sake, she’s nearly ready to get laid, why is she sidetracking”(turned out she lived in the middle of nowhere in a village with a rail train station that closes early). In this part drunk state, I retorted “That’s ok”. I knew I had about 45 minutes left till last trains, so I’d have to make my move soon.

After a bit more chit chat to ease back in again I say, let’s go and take her off to the toilet. We were making out very heavily. But I just wasn’t feeling it, the bubble wasn’t there. It didn’t happen. We left said our goodbyes and she didn’t text back.

Later on at Torero’s below the belt meetup I asked him why: His response was something along the lines of “What bubble, do the floppy test then just whip it out”.

Points learnt:

  • Alot of questions are fine in dates as long as you’re having a laugh
  • Just whip it out

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